Thursday, May 05, 2005

Cinco de Mayonnaise

I'm so completely white. And sometimes I feel lost. My husband, who is also white, has jumped deep into his Scottish heritage. If it is Scottish, he likes it...he plays the bagpipes and wears a kilt for goodness sake. So he is white, but he is Scottish white.

Me on the other hand, I am fumbling and floundering just to figure out who I am, nevermind WHAT I am. My family isn't much help in the matter...they don't know either...at least not what I am MOSTLY.

This probably has something to do with the fact that I don't know my father. And what I have been told was information given to my mom many years ago...so she could be mistaken as well. I do feel a sense of 'missing out' because I do not have a particular heritage in which to cling.

Apparently, I am part Native-American, Greek, Irish, English, German...and who knows what else. A mutt.

At any rate, I DO have some family who ARE Mexican [and on my mother's side]. So, today we 'celebrate' Cinco de Mayo. Until last year I had no idea what this holiday was about, and that is lame of me.

However, I do know now...it is when the Mexicans kicked some French booty so that they couldn't move up through Mexico and attack the Americans during the Civil War. Well...that's the shortened version anyway. So it is just as much an American holiday as a Mexican holiday.

And I wish that I could say that I have this sense of ownership over the fact that my heritage did something great, righted a wrong, did some justice...watched a friends back....and have a right to celebrate it.

I don't want to be 'nothing' I want to be 'something' and have a sense of belonging...and 'fit in' and have holidays and get a sense of pride over the fact that I am of a particular people...I want to hear 'We Are Family' playing in my head and get a warm fuzzy feeling inside when I am hanging with my peeps...I want to feel that loyalty...that closeness...that unbreakable bond created by shared experiences...and history...yeah...history.

But I'm just a white girl without any real ties...no real identity...

a muddy blooded...

...American.

And if you didn't catch the sarcasm...I'd just like to say that being an American is all of that [history] and more. Not many people like to admit that they are American...each grabbing onto a sliver of their heritage and hanging on for dear life...because for some, being American means being wrong, and uncool.

It's really too bad that we are trying to segregate ourselves by heritage, when there is nothing wrong with just being who we are...American.

...and for all of you who do not have Mexican blood and who have a speck of intelligence...don't eat the worm...Happy Cinco de Mayo!

****
For anyone wondering, my house smells of all kinds of Mexican goodness right now...but I received this recipe from my Tia Valerie:

Cinnamon Tortilla Chips

1 package pre made soft tortilla shells [or home made if you are ambitious]
1 cup vegetable oil
cinnamon and sugar mixture
paper plate
paper towel lined bowl [large]

Heat oil on high in pan [I use a wok, less splattering]
Cut all of the tortillas into quarters [that's 4 pieces]

When the oil is hot enough, place as many pieces of tortilla that will fit into the pan without layering each other. Let them until the edges turn golden [they will puff up]...flip and let the other side get turn golden and then remove from the pan onto a paper plate. Sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar mixture while still hot, and then place into a paper towel lined bowl. Repeat until all of the pieces have been fried.

Great by themselves or served with mango-peach salsa.

Abi: Oohh those are my favorite!

2 Comments:

At 06:13, Blogger Fin said...

Kassi-
It's so funny you should post this... I have been really struggling with
a)calling myself anything other than American, because quite frankly I don't feel all that ethnically tied to any of my muddy blood
and
b)calling myself American, because quite frankly I am a firm believer in the meaningfulness behind the phrase "Ugly American".

More at the FinTank

 
At 08:47, Blogger Kassi said...

The funny thing is that I know many people who feel the same as we do...that the Ugly American image foreshadows the goodness that is actually present as individual people...perhaps the snoogs generation will find a way to bridge the gap between the individual and the collective...

 

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