Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Yesterday Was Plain Awful...

Me, couch, book, fireplace.

That's about it. That is about all I could muster as the headache and nausea coursed through my body.

In the meantime, seeing my weakend state, the three year old and the cat took over the house; and by the time everyone was piling in from work and school, the house took on an appearance that indeed a three year old and a cat had been running the show.

Toys of every variety everywhere. Not to mention crayon bits, cracker bits, and an orange peel (We don't even have oranges right now).

My husband of course was forewarned, but that didn't prevent the fight that occured starting at 10:00 PM and ending at 11:30 PM. Which included a sweatshirt being flung at his head because I had already thrown and broken the tea pot a while ago.

(Which reminds me I need to pick up more inexpensive tchotchke to set about the house for these moments)

I finally settled down when he (upon his own initiative) took out the vacuum and started vacuuming.

Then we talked. We talked about how the children are not very helpful. And that they need to have more respect for the house, for us. And it finally hit me...the real problem. 1. we aren't working together, 2. we aren't leading by example.

By midnight we came up with a plan, and an agreement. It was like the clouds had parted and rays of sunlight were streaming down up0n us from above. Angels were singing I am sure of it. We had a break-through.
And that is saying a lot since our skulls are very very thick. (just ask the tea pot)

So, today started out with me understanding why my husband is so up tight about money. Perhaps it is the year he spent living in Detroit often without heat, or food, during his first year of college, until he figured out how to budget. He'll tell you about how he had ice in his shoes, and that for one entire week he only had an apple pie to eat; rationing one or two thin slices a day.

He finally realized why I cannot relax in a messy house, and that I do not necessarily want things "spotless". Just neat and presentable in the event Home and Gardens would like to stop by. He also realized that fighting with me over taking out the garbage (which has been a complete REALITY for the past 2 years-I've never met a man so set against taking out the trash in all my life) presents to the children that we are not united, and so why should they listen to us?

So...we agreed we need rules with concrete consequences. Written rules tacked up all over the house...so that there is no mistaking what will happen if you leave your book bags and outer wear laying all over the place (or heaven forbid your dead socks). But that means we must follow our own rules. Damn continuity.

6 Comments:

At 16:50, Blogger Kelly said...

Living with someone else is just plain hard. Trying to unite to raise two OTHER someone elses is even harder. It seems you're doing great, though, even with the flung items. xo

 
At 17:47, Blogger Chris said...

These arguments are universal, most definitely. I've had these same conversations with my husband many times. It's good to know that I'm not the only one!

 
At 18:55, Blogger Katrina said...

I recommend terra cotta pots for throwing. They shatter with a satisfying crash, and the price of replacing them is very reasonable.

I can tell you from experience that keys are NOT a good thing to throw. Even if you change your mind at the last minute and throw them at the wall instead of your beloved's head as you originally intended, thus avoiding major facial lacerations, you will still probably make a unique dent in the drywall that will cause a twinge of shame whenever you notice it.

 
At 20:08, Blogger Kassi said...

dry wall has a way of making one remember transgressions best forgotten...i have become all too familiar with the art of spackling.

 
At 08:20, Anonymous Anonymous said...

aaahhhhhhhh.......

The joyful sounds of life.... crockery shattering, voices raised, tears, and random vacuuming. (Of course, your trash neighbors will never see last night as any kind of real domestic disturbance. They'll just think that you two played like you were upset at each other just to piss them off.)

Congrats on the rules-thing. From experience, I can tell you that it's the 'reprocussions' from not abiding by the rules that will make or break the whole set-up. I'm still trying to get Rich to actually pay attention to which chores Spence has and has not done.

From personal experience, it only took me one "if-you-don't-pick-your-room-up, I'm-going-to-throw-everything-on-the-floor-away" when I was a kid to change my evil ways. (Yes, Mom came into my room, threw everything that was on the floor in a black trash bag, then threw it in the garbage can behind the garage. I was THAT kid.)

Good luck, but better yet, Congratulations on your landmark decisions!!

--Kim R

 
At 11:46, Blogger Kassi said...

I've thrown SEVERAL bags of random things away from my daughters room because they refuse to put things away. It is getting pretty bare bones in there.

 

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