Monday, October 03, 2005

Closet of Doom


I was going to wait until Friday to post this, as to not overload all y'all with photos...but if I wait too long, I will think better of it, so here it is.

I've figured out the prime source of my stress...this closet. This closet is in my office, and it is always to my back as I type or work on the computer. It remains closed at all times, unless I remember that there is something in it I need...and unfortunately, all of our Christmas decorations are in this small space, at the very back. So I'll be digging everything out again, and arguing with Caleb about why we should just throw everything away.

See...my husband is a collector. You can see a glimpse of his figurine shelf to the right. He just collects stuff. Whereas, I'm a tosser. No, not the British slang "tosser", but a person who throws things away, even to the point of shouldn't have done that. Primo neat freak.

We are like oil and water.

And it is difficult.

Because I view clutter as blight. And he sees treasure.
I call him the biggest collector of junk, and he calls me the crazy lady with a can of Lysol. We are the ultimate Odd Couple.

My utmost wish upon wish is to just throw everything in this closet away, so that it is a clean space in which to hang seasonal-wear and maybe put some of our sporting equipment. But that will never happen. Because I know that if I even dare to throw one item of his away, he will suddenly remember that he put it in the closet and then start wondering about it and asking me where it is. How do I know this? Because it has happened.

I am not going to admit to the thing that I threw away, that he doesn't know, but keeps asking about...I'm sure that he will figure it out eventually. Perhaps when we move.

So, that is the thin thread that keeps me from tearing this closet apart and getting rid of everything in it. I can only say "I don't know" so many times before cracking.

8 Comments:

At 10:43, Anonymous irene said...

I am in shock. when I saw the picture I freaked out because I thought this was actually MY closet. except mine is in the bedroom. and that I cannot take a picture of it because as soon as I open the door things start to fall. and then I read the post. and you know that feeling? "I could have written it myself, this is SO my life". well, it really is. we should start a club.

 
At 11:17, Blogger SlushTurtle said...

Maybe you should get some of those big plastic totes and put all his junk in them, neatly labeled of course. That way, you would just have to look at a wonderfully organized stack, but he would still have all his stuff.

 
At 12:05, Blogger Jill said...

Apply to be on the show "Mission Organization"! I LO-O-OVE that show!! You would most likely get to throw some things away, but it would all end up organized and probably in labeled tubs like Slush said. AND you'd get to be on TV! Rock on!!!

 
At 13:45, Blogger Kassi said...

My favorite show is clean sweep. I would love to organize this mess, but it isn't mine. I'll probably have to do it by Christmastime though. Just to find the decorations.

 
At 15:17, Blogger Turtlellini said...

ACK!!!! Call the Clean Sweep Authorities, STAT! Seriously. I am a NEAT. FREAK. I would run around slapping myself on the head screaming "HOT WATER BURN BABY!" if my husband tried that shit on me.

Here's MY advice. Go through that closet TODAY (or I might be up all night thinking about this) and organize the items according to how soon he will be likely to come looking for them, with the stuff he will be looking for LAST closest to the door.

On a weekly basis, sneak one or two items at a time into the bottom of the trash. (Extra points if HE is the one taking out the trash. You can always inform him later that HE was the one who threw it out, not you. Heh!)

Invite him into your office everyday for something and leave that closet door open. Especially if you have cats--you may never see them again if they venture in there.

With each day that passes, he will become conditioned to it's gradual diminishment, until one day....WOW! Look at that closet! Only Christmas stuff in there! Woo!

 
At 15:45, Blogger Kassi said...

I would do such a thing, but I value my marriage...so my solution at this junction in time is to just shut the door and focus on things that I CAN control. However, I will be buying platic totes sometime in the near future. I'll take a photo of the actual pile that is created when I decide to tackle this monster...until then...light off, door shut, and stress at an all time high.

 
At 07:36, Blogger AfricaBleu said...

Ha - great post, Kassi. I feel your pain - I, too am a lot more ruthless in the disposal realm, and both my kids and my husband are pack RATS! When we started our addition, we had to tear off the roof and I told Casey, "Just pull your trailer down beside the attic" and I threw away an astounding amount of CRAP that had accumulated up there. But no sooner would one thing be hurled through the open air into the trailer then I would hear the pitter-patter of little feet - my daughter, saying, "But this was my favorite..." and then Casey, holding something clutched to his chest and saying, with a concerned look on his face, "Are you sure we don't need this?"

Yes, honey, I am sure we don't need five adaptors to electronics we no longer own.

 
At 10:12, Blogger Kassi said...

Ugh...I've had that very same conversation. It makes me want to do all my spring cleaning when they are out of the house.

 

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