Sunday, September 18, 2005

Family Circus

Things have been pretty hard lately. Starting a new job and school at the same time was difficult. Finding daycare and letting go has been harder on me. Coming to terms with my Mary Kay business and what I want from it, and not what it wants from me...hard as well.

However, the hardest part of all of this is the fact that I barely see my husband.

Our hours are different...he works until late at night, so by the time he gets home, I'm almost ready to go to bed.

Weekends are much the same. He has been working every weekend at the Ren Fest, so he is essentially working 7 days a week. It's especially hard on him, this crazy schedule he is keeping, because he is exhausted during the week; sore and exhausted on the weekends.

Sometimes I wish that we had family members that lived close by who could take the kids once in a while, just so that we could have some time to ourselves.

Caleb and I never really had a time where we could just date and hang out. There were always my kids. So, when we got married it was instant family. Instant family is not easy. It means forgoing the newlywed adventures and jumping right into family adventures. This has been an adjustment for both of us. For Caleb because I don't think he expected it to be this hard, and myself because I thought he understood it would be this hard.

Sometimes I am wistful regarding the fact that we don't have a grandma or grandpa who will happily come over and watch their grandkids. Or even friends with kids of their own with whom we could trade babysitting favors.

I get very nervous about asking our friends to watch our children, I know that there is nothing we can give them or do for them in return. Thankfully they are able to watch over the kids once in a while, otherwise Caleb and I would be having a harder time than we already are.

Raising three children is not easy. I know that if in the future we decide to have one more, we may as well kiss our alone time good-bye for at least 5 years. No one is going to want to help us with our family circus. I'm praying that by that time we won't feel so angsty about it.

Maybe we'll give up and finally hand over the drama of couplehood for the drama of parenthood, until then we are still trying to figure out a way to have both. We are greedy that way.


At 16:36, Anonymous lawyerchik1 said...

That IS a rough way to live! Hope you can find a good friend or two with whom you could maybe swap sleepovers for the kids - they take yours for one night one week, so you and Caleb can have a "date night", and then you get their kids for one night the following week. That's how I've heard it works for some people in your situation. I've been looking for it for my dog, but unfortunately, I have no reason (yet!) to need it..... :) Have a great day!!

At 21:25, Blogger Kassi said...

Thanks! We are praying...


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