Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Shopping Solves Depression Of Weight Gain

Lately, as by my posts, I have been deliriously obsessed with my weight. Maybe because the prospect of getting into a bathing suit is looming ahead of me like...oh I don't know...something that looms.

Anyway, I'm trying to get grip on it. Because today I melted into tears, and my poor husband, no matter how much he tried to console me, had to leave for work feeling helpless.

I know that I am scarred, and most definitely unfortunate. I happen to have fat genes in my family. I also have fire hydrant genes, as well as unknown genes [due to not knowing my father's side of the family tree]. Who knows what sort of tricks of heredity are awaiting me as I get older. I betcha that is where I got this fat German mole...

At any rate, I've thought of all of my dieting tricks in the past that I have used for the fast slim down [i.e. starvation], and I am coming to the conclusion that my body won't let me employ these tactics because I am getting older.

So not only am I doomed to look like a squat fire hydrant [not that fire hydrants are particularly tall], but I am getting old at the same time. I may as well buy a muu muu. I know where to get an authentic one, and I already have slippers that will coordinate with it.

I know it doesn't help that I am snacking on fat sandwiches at 1:30 in the morning. But this is precisely my point. My body is telling me to eat eat eat. And unless I do, I am tired tired tired. I feel more like a bear getting ready for hibernation than anything else these days.

No, I'm not exactly fat. Or overweight. But I definitely look better with clothes than without. And since I don't intend to find employment that would require me to be nude, or move to a place where it would be acceptable, I shouldn't really worry. But it is still depressing me that up until this year I could wear the same clothes I had when I was 27.

Which makes me all the more aware of the fact that I am not 27 anymore, which makes me even more sad. I don't want to be sad about my age and my weight at the same time. That is almost too much to bear.

So I need a viable reason to be happy with my age, and my round butt. OR maybe I just need to go shopping for more clothes...


At 22:28, Blogger AfricaBleu said...

I hated turning thirty. Seems like that was when my metabolism skidded to a halt. Now I am just starting to accept that my pooch is here to stay.

I should've just stayed in Jamaica - there, the guys LIKE a "round" woman. My husband was talking with Chris, the Jamaican guy in charge of water-sports at our resort, and a chunky American woman walked by. Chris sighed, "Man, I want to go to America - your woman are HOT there."

Since I have no curves (save the pooch), I guess I was the ugliest girl on the island. But a few more weeks of resort food would've changed THAT in a heartbeat.

At 06:28, Blogger Fin said...

From the old round lady:

- you are healthy and beautiful
- it is a blessing to have an appetite
- you may not be 27 anymore, but you will also never be this age again... don't let longing for the past rob you of the present, or worse, the future

- no one who knows you will ever believe you are anything but beautiful

- new clothes are definitely a great place to start...


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