Thursday, July 21, 2005

Conversations from the Cage

Scientist Notes:

The subjects are two lab rats; one male, the other female. The conversations that you are about to read have been extracted from a variety of stimuli that the rats have been introduced to over the course of a year. The findings are fascinating…

Stimuli reaction 1

Female: It makes me feel uncomfortable when you hang out with those other rats and Jitters is there…

Male: But I am not there because of Jitters.

Female: But I would like to be a part of it, and they have made it abundantly clear that they don’t want me to be there.

Him: But I want to do this.

Female: I won’t stop you. I just wish that I could be there too. I feel left out…

Stimuli reaction 2

Female: I don’t want to invite Jitters to the wedding…

Male: Why not?

Female: Because we aren’t that close with Jitters, and it’s my day too…and I just don’t want Jitters there.

Male: But I want Jitters there, and I think that we should invite Jitters because Jitters will wonder why we didn’t.

Female: But we aren’t that close with Jitters.

Male: It doesn’t matter. I want to invite Jitters.

Female: Okay

Stimuli reaction 3

Female: I know that you don’t understand why Skippy isn’t hanging out with us, but frankly it is because Skippy cares about Turbo’s feelings…and that is important enough to her to stay away for a little while.

Male: But that’s so stupid and so high school. Turbo shouldn’t be jealous. Turbo should get over it. Skippy shouldn’t give up Skippy’s friends because of Turbo.

Female: Skippy isn’t giving up friends. Skippy is just taking time to ensure that the current relationship is going well--these things take time. How would you feel if I hung out with Mr. Cheesefarts?

Male: Frankly I wouldn’t care. If things hadn’t gone down the way that they did I would hang out with Mr. Cheesefarts no problem.

Female: Well, sometimes feelings are complicated. It’s like how I felt about you inviting Jitters to the wedding without considering my feelings. It didn’t have to make sense, it just was.

Male: It’s ridiculous.

Female: I don’t think it is your call to say whether or not someone’s feelings are ridiculous or not.

Male: It’s my opinion though.

Female: Yeah, opinions are like butt holes, everyone has one.

Stimuli reaction 4

Female: I called Jitters and asked if she would help me out.

Male: Why did you do that?

Female: Because I should call everyone I know…it doesn’t hurt to ask.

Male: After how much you have stated that you don’t like Jitters…you call Jitters up to help you out?

Female: Well, that was a while ago…and me not liking Jitters was more a matter of you didn’t take into consideration my feelings.

Male: No, that wasn’t the issue at all. I don’t think you should call Jitters.

Female: I don’t think that it is your place to tell me who to call and who not to call.

Male: Yes it is.

Scientists Notes:

Essentially, the female lab rat cannot move forward or allow for change, even though that is exactly what the male lab rat demanded of someone else in order to suit his own needs.
A. She cannot make efforts to mature and move on
B. However Turbo must mature and move on.
You can see how the female test subject may be in a state of confusion. The female lab rat has been showing signs of internalizing extreme agitation. Hence there has been a two week isolation period employed in order to secure the safety of the male lab rat. We are sure that with ample amounts of chocolate…err…diazepam, everything will be just fine.


At 18:31, Anonymous Nathan Logan said...

Good read.



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