Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Warning Adult Content: Mickey Mouse Mug

There are some things that I know about myself that will probably never change. For instance, I am adamant that no one uses my Mickey Mouse mug. It is mine. I put ice cream in it. I have had it for over 17 years and I do not want to take the chance that it slips through someone’s fingers and shatters into a million pieces thus destroying the one and only cool gift that my step grandparents ever gave me.

It is a reminder of how terribly bankrupt of kindness and compassion that the Weber matriarch had for me.

My retaliation: Enjoy ice cream [my favorite dessert] out of this mug until the day I die. Why? Because it makes me defiantly happy. So don’t touch the Mickey Mouse mug.

I am equally possessive of my Bogan Lane mug, but for completely different reasons…and I drink tea out of that one-it’s a happy comfort thing.

The other thing that will most certainly never change is my complete and utter distaste for pornography. Even the name ‘porn’ is ugly. There is no way to sucker it down; I just do not like it. In fact I loathe it. I have had too many bad experiences in my life revolving around porn that I do not see anything to appreciate about its existence.

Okay, that may seem somewhat prudish to some people, but honestly…why? Okay, don’t answer that…I really don’t want my blog to be a discussion on the redeemable attributes of pornography. You won’t convince me, don’t try. I’ll just delete your responses if you do.

At any rate, that said…I have also been rather cringed about going to adult stores. If you need to ask why, simply think of being subjected to having all of your intimate insecurities exploited to the point that you are a blathering idiot who rams their car into a pole because someone who has maliciously abused you is now dumping you.

Instead of a car accident, I should have had a party. Suffice it to say, in that regard I have been horribly taken advantage of, and simply did not trust or want to be around anything that would trigger those feelings ever again. Adult toy stores included.

But I am not a prude. In fact…I would venture to say that Christians, who have a pretty good grasp on what God expects of a healthy marriage, are exact opposite of prudes WITH THEIR SPOUSE.

After finding this out my comfort level on sexual topics increased a thousand fold. So I figured…I’m married to a Christian man who is faithful and does not want to force me to do things I don’t like, and who doesn’t like porn…let’s have fun!! Yippee!

One thing to note…there is NOTHING WRONG with having fun WITH YOUR SPOUSE. And Christians…KNOW this. It’s a secret…but I’m sharing. I learned this by talking with a 25 year old virgin. She is waiting for her husband…something that I wish I did. But it was so cool because she is excited about sharing all of that with one person, and buying all the accessories that a healthy, playful love-life entails.

I came to the realization that waiting does not necessitate being a prude. In fact…it can mean quite the opposite. I think that is a message that today’s youth REALLY should be told. They think that marriage means having no fun in the bedroom, when it could mean that marriage means freedom in the bedroom—with someone you love, trust, and who is SAFE.

Instead we have it backwards…everyone is trying to get the fun stuff “in”…so that when they are married they can “settle down”…it's really sad actually.

So since my theme of late is facing fears…we got someone to watch the kids while we went out to an adult store to explore. And just so everyone is clear…this is my husband’s first time entering one of these places.

I wish I could write about how he walked around the store flexing his arms in some attempt to remain manly while women perused about looking at toys and lingerie; actually asking if he was the only guy in the store.

I wish I could write about the expression that Caleb had on his face while the lady behind the counter explained [in great detail] e.x.a.c.t.l.y. how to use cooling crème.

I wish I could write about the over animated laughter that emitted from inside him whenever I pointed “interesting” things out, and how he, being who he is, made jokes because that is what he does when he is unsure of what else to do.

And I wish I could write about how he tried to remain aloof, in a very endearing and loveable way.

More importantly I wish I could write about how this is the first time in my life that I have been in the presence of this type of product and not felt extremely uncomfortable, vulnerable and demoralized. And that is because I was with my husband…who loves me, and who I trust won’t hurt me.

And isn’t that what really matters?

Okay, I actually AM writing about those things, and because there will probably be certain repercussions for such a post, I will let him use my Mickey Mouse mug for ice cream...


At 20:09, Anonymous RichD said...

How to keep Rich in suspence. Put up a header with "Warning Adult Contenet" in it, and not have anything in the body of the post.
If it is really naughty stuff, email it to me.

At 23:24, Blogger Kassi said...

sorry about that, I lost the post..thankfully I write them and save to computer before publishing...usually.

At 00:41, Anonymous RichD said...

A couple of things, ONE, cheers to the 25 year old virgin. I think it's awesome that she is waiting for her husband. TWO, the trip you just took us readers on thru that store is priceless! I can relate with Caleb, especially when the lady behind the counter describes ANY product and e.x.a.c.t.l.y. how it works. (blush)

At 10:59, Blogger Kimba said...

Kassi, you continually make me so proud to know you!! (...and Caleb!!)


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