Tuesday, April 26, 2005

The Supportive Wife

Lately we have been having some real bad arguments about whether or not I am being supportive of him and his interests.

I know that I am trying to be supportive, though right now I am getting the message that he would rather me tell him "no" that he can't do the things that he wants.

Maybe because the things that he wants to do has very little, if nothing to do with our family, or us as a couple. I honestly cannot name one time in which we have pursued an activity purely for the reason that I like it.
Most of our activities revolve around what he likes to do.

Or, maybe because whenever he is asked to be a part of something, that something isn't to include me or the children.


Well, I have been supportive. I haven't told him "no" he can't be in a LARP or participate in a play, or be in an independent film, or whatever else he wants to do. I've not given him a hard time about it, and have given him room to make his own decision about how he wants to spend his time.

And quite frankly, I have filled my head and my time with other things to do while he pursues his activities...regardless of how much time he is spending away from us..chasing something that I cannot see.

Yes, I do feel left out.

Yes, I wish that we could figure something out that we could do together as a family...and not cost an arm and a leg--that interests ALL of us.

But for now, I am going to wait...and let him figure out what he wants. Because regardless of he believes it or not, I AM NOT MAD that he is involved in all of these solo projects. I know that this is who he is...someone who cannot say "no". Someone who wants to be involved.

I just wish that he would realize that when he accuses me of not being supportive of his endeavors...he is wrong. Because no matter where he finds himself, when it comes right down to it...I'm always here.

Today he told me reality is boring.

And I feel sorry for him that he would feel that way. I have found reality to be much more exciting and fulfilling than anything make believe.

So once again, tonight I find myself at home alone with the kids. And while I would have taken them bowling I don't exactly have the cash for it. So, we are here...and he is at a play rehearsal. That's okay. I'll make some tea and play some Uno with the kids. But part of me wishes that he were home...enjoying reality with me.


At 20:07, Blogger ducklet said...

"reality is boring"

thanks. i'll remember NEVER to utter these particular words at home :)

At 10:24, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to give you a hug! I know what your going through, to an extent. My ex-husband once said to me that he needed a vacation. We had 1 child at the time. I was so happy! I was all like- where are we going, when, how long- (we hadent been anywhere since our honeymoon like 4 years before) He corrected me. HE needed a vacation. He was going to go fishing with his uncle for a week. So much for a family vacation. He had a wife and child, yet lived the single live. Oh well. I hope you two can communicate through this and come to compromises. I'll say a prayer or two for you, if thats ok.


At 10:31, Anonymous Nathan Logan said...


I am saddened to read your story and hear of your struggle. How many nights per week is your husband out of the house?

Also, is this his job, or just a form of entertainment?

You and your family will be in my prayers. As a gem of encouragement, look up 1 Corinthians 10:13. God is your Helper. =)


At 10:39, Blogger Kassi said...

Honestly, it is neither job nor entertainment. He often feels obliged to participate in activities because he is asked. And since he hasn't been on stage in such a long time...and his degree is in Theatre...well, he needs to do those things.
Thank you both for your prayers! I know that marrying a woman with 3 kids is a huge shock to someone who has been a free spirit for such a long time, going wherever the wind takes him. I just hope that he directs his course our way more often of his own accord and not my nagging.


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