Wednesday, July 20, 2005

The Posts I Don't Post

The posts I don't post are really good. They are writhing with emotion. Raw. Gritty. Shocking.

But I can't post them.

Something holds me back every time.

Perhaps it is the fact that I don't know how many eyes are staring back at me into my life. Catching a glimpse of who I am. Even then it is highly,unfortunately filtered.

Or maybe it is self inflicted guilt.

Or maybe I've grown up.

I know that if I were 10 years younger, I'd be spewing forth everything I had onto the canvas not caring who or what saw what I wrote. Conscience be damned.

What would the 3 people who read my blog do with the real me? The inner me? The me that holds nothing back?

Would they come back for another shocking episode of what happened in my life? Or would they suddenly be turned off by the magnitude of what I feel at times?

I'm not always boring. I just hold back.

I'm not willing to share it all. And I am not sure that the internet wants for me to share it all anyway. For now...know that the posts that I don't post...are really good. Unfortunately it is always the good ones that can do the most harm.


At 11:12, Anonymous Scott C. said...

Everyone has something pent up inside that they believe society doesn't want to see.

As long as the posts exist, if but in your mind, they're doing something for you.

No blogger posts everything.

At 12:33, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that I would come back for more. It would help me to better understand you by understanding your past.

Love, Erin

At 14:42, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wholeheartidly agree with Erin.



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