Prosaic Poppy 2005-2006

Kassi's Delivery Service

I spent most of my day working on my home business; organizing, making calls, and delivering items to people who have made orders. Discipline. Dedication.

On my way to drop off my grandmother's order the kids and I had quite a scare.

It has been raining in the normal Spring torrents off and on for the past week or so. We missed the rain and had been driving through the aftermath...which meant slick roads and idiot drivers.

I'm not a good driver. Anyone who has driven with me will tell you that they are frightened to be a passenger while I am behind the wheel. I am agressive, risky, a lead foot,and sometimes distracted... But I try to refrain from this when my children are in the car with me...and today they were.

Because they were I expect the rest of the drivers around me to act accordingly...but they usually don't.

So, keeping that in mind, I was extra watchful, and good thing because I was able to divert my car from a huge black Explorer pushing me out of my lane. They apparently didn't see my stupid little white Saturn.

Soo...I honked...you know...because the driver in the S.U.V. scared me, and my kids...and to be honest I think that if I hadn't honked I would not be writing this post...I would be writing a different one titled "Traction, it's many charms"...

Anyway--I honked...and then the driver of this huge vehicle of doom pulls ahead of me on the right side, flips me off and then CUTS ME OFF.

Now, I don't know about you...but for me, I had contained my inner aggressive driver long enough. Kids in the car or not, I was not going to let this injustice just go. No no..not Me.

So I followed them. I not only followed them, I followed them while honking...

All.the.way.to.her.neighborhood.

Then once in their neighborhood I stopped honking and just followed a good distance until they sped up to a number that I was uncomfortable copying through a residential area...and turned around to finish my original course.

Now...why would I do something so bold [ahem...crazy]?

Rationalize it...say I was driving and cut someone off, ticked off the wrong person and they followed me home and then got out of their car and attacked me, or worse...found out where I lived and did something even more horrendous later on...those people exist.

I hope I scared her [and I think I did]...maybe she will think twice before being a mindless jerk [and that would be jerk with a captial "A"] on the road.

Which brings me back to my own bad driving...if I do something offensive in my recklessness, given the chance I wave and say "Sorry"...because I know I'm in the wrong. I may be laughing maniacally while I am apologizing, but hey...at least there is an "I'm sorry" amongst the cackling.

But this chic did not give me that courtesy...she felt it was in her right to almost push me off the road into other traffic, flip me off, and then cut me off.

The moral of this story, besides stay off the road when Kassi is driving...is this: If you are being a jerk on the road, acknowledge it...otherwise you may just upset the wrong person.

You never know...you may just tick off a mother of three trying to deliver some skin care products.

On a side note, I was proud of myself that I did not swear once. I opted to call her a witch instead of the "B" alternative, and again...many people would be surprised at the restraint I displayed.

- Her license plate number is NCR 405; and while I did think of calling the police I decided not to so that I could avoid having to explain why I followed her for so long...while honking my horn.
Vigilantism is not widely accepted in the Northern states.

-For those in the gallery...yes I DID get my driver's license from a Cracker Jack box, yes I was voted the runner up to the worst driver in Highschool, no my driving has NOT improved since Hawaii, and yes I gained many more bad driving skills from my one year stay in Japan. :P

-I promise that when it comes time for me to sit on a phone book to see over the steering wheel I will give up my license.

posted by Kassi Gilbert @ 4:33 PM