Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Two Burns and a Chip on the Kitchen Counter.

Well, I am not sure what this proves, or disproves...perhaps my insanity.

I had an interview for a job tomorrow morning. 8:15 AM to be exact. It was a position at a local truck company, doing data entry...need I say more? But it was a j.o.b.

So what did I do? I stressed about it all night long--to the point of burning myself twice during dinner prep [one on my eye...MY EYE] and having a hissy in the kitchen-- at which point my husband told me I shouldn't go.

Then I I shouldn't go. If I am going to spend $1000 a month in order for me to go to work, it better darn well be a job I actually like...and definitely not data entry. [I loathe data entry]

Ok, but in reality do I have the option to be choosey? I suppose not. However, for what it will cost me to actually work [time away from the kids and many inconveniences on top of the $1000] maybe I can at least get away with being slightly more picky than normal. I mean...I'm not quite to the point of desperation--yet.

So I called the lady up and told her I would not be able to make it to meet her. She asked me if I wanted to reschedule. I told her..."no I believe I will take myself out of the consideration as I do not feel I am quite ready to start a new job yet". She thanked me for calling her...and that was that.

Can you believe I actually said that?? Well, to be sure, at least I didn't just not show up. I would have hated myself for being unprofessional--and weasely.

I think that this whole "let Caleb take over as the breadwinner idea" is going to be much more difficult a concept than I first suspected.

It sucks to be a control freak, it gets in the way of wanting to be a good mother, homemaker, and wife...


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