Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Casualties of War

A little over a year ago, two good friends of mine had a huge falling out. Without going into any great detail about it…they decided to part ways seemingly forever. Forever is a long time I would think to myself. There may be many years yet that will chance an opportunity for reconciliation. Me being ever hopeful decided to not get involved in the dispute one way or another. In a way, remained Switzerland.

The problem with Switzerland is that France and the United States would call upon her to find out what the other one was doing. So Switzerland puts her foot down and says “no”…I am NOT getting involved. But I am hosting an event with Scotland would you like to attend?

The United States: “sure”…I like parties.

France: Are the American’s going? If so I am NOT attending.

Switzerland says: Yes the Americans are going…they like to party. Besides I thought you like my parties and it is important…does it really matter if the United States is going?

France: No…[not wanting to be shown up by the Americans]…I’ll go….but can I bring Germany?

Switzerland: Of course you can.

So Switzerland’s party is great fun…and a good time is had by all. It is like a World Summit with good food and dancing.

Time passes and all is well or so it seems. Switzerland and Scotland are getting along very well, and the United States and France have stopped asking about one another to Switzerland.

Anyway, one day out of the blue France says something particularly offensive to Switzerland with no provocation…you know that French humor can be so dry. And Switzerland’s fragile sensibilities were a bit wounded. Apologies are stated, but it is determined stipulations should be made regarding further communication to avoid such breaches in the future.

Then one night, France calls Switzerland to “chat”. Switzerland takes the call…

France: I can’t be friends with you any longer.

Switzerland: Why not?

France talks and talks, because that is what France does…and the bottom line is that France no longer wants to associate with Switzerland because Switzerland is still associating with the United States.

Well…this is absurd! How do you STOP associating with the United States? You have been friends for a good long time, and besides…the United States is the home of Hershey’s chocolate…and Switzerland is the home of Lindt chocolate…!!

So…what is Switzerland to do? France is adamant that it just won’t work. The United States has caused them too much grief over the many years of their acquaintance and therefore to remain friends with the United States is to declare enmity towards France…and well France likes to hold grudges…

To be sure, Switzerland was decidedly upset over the conversation. Until Switzerland realized that France was acting like a 13 year old GIRL. While Switzerland wishes no ill will towards France, and hopes that France has a happy future. Switzerland has decided that she hasn’t acquired a taste for French whine.

The End

*This post is by no means intended to offend the actual countries of France, Switzerland, The U.S. or Germany. The countries names are pseudonyms for real people in order to protect the identity of those involved. The broad generalities and stereotypes intended to describe the behaviors of said individuals.

**I like France…the actual country…and the wine made therein.

*** I am not from Switzerland, nor do I have a Swiss bank account.


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