Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Learning to be Content with Me

He knows I get upset when I am not able to go out and have fun with him. It makes me feel left out and put aside. Especially, since we haven’t gone out on a “date” in a very long time. Last night was his first performance with a new comedy troupe he has joined. I missed it. I was disappointed, but only a little. Maybe I am finally resigning myself to what is.

He doesn’t know that for as much as I grumble about it, sometimes I am already looking forward to putting on my favorite shirt and jeans and curling up on the couch with either a good book or a good movie that only I would be interested in. In my mind the tea is already made. The children have already had their baths and are tucked in. In my mind the dishwasher and the washing machine are the only things hard at work.

There have been many times that I’ve pulled out my comfy clothes and nestled in for the night. And though I know I am missing the laughter of friends and shared experiences with my best friend [my husband], and I would like very much to be there. I am learning to be content here.

For tonight, once again the babysitter had to cancel, so I have already put on my Depeche Mode concert t-shirt and my worn out jeans. I’ve already selected the movie and I may take out the knitting basket, just for practice. Something tells me I may want to listen to some music at some point. I am mercurial that way. My company won’t care though…I have a date with me.


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