Saturday, March 26, 2005

I Have a Hero...His Name is Christ

Tomorrow is Easter.

It is strange to me to think that only a few short years ago, I had given Easter no thought in regards to its meaning or significance. This is because a few short years ago I was not a Christian.

It has been a long journey coming to the point of accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I know without a doubt that God was preparing me for the day that I would accept His son into my heart. I know because of the trials that I endured, and always with hints, as though through a hurricane I could still hear a whisper saying “here I am”.

However, as I had always been, I was more preoccupied with the storm rather than the calm. Too busy to hear the whisper amid the shouts. Looking back on all those subtle hints gives me greater peace and appreciation for the fact I am where I am in my faith. God is clever.

My childhood Easter memories were simply of hunting for eggs and eating candy. I had no idea what it was all about. Even 3 years ago, I had not celebrated Easter as I do now. That Easter soon after snoog was born, was not a happy holiday for me and my kids. It was the beginning of going through the motions of normal life…and knowing that things are falling apart underneath.

3 years ago I had set out baskets and hid eggs, but it was all smoke to hide the fact that nothing was good. Kind of like a hollow cake that is being held together by the frosting—if you cut into it, it falls apart. Soon enough we felt that cut…I remember that Easter being just as empty as those cheap chocolate rabbits you can buy at CVS—not even chocolate could make things better.

No, Easter has not meant a lot to me in past years. But it does now. Much like Christmas it has taken on a new meaning for me and my children…though we are still learning. And with each revelation, I am in greater awe. I still have the scenes from The Passion of Christ in my mind, etched, burned, engraved…I won’t ever forget how that movie was able to bring to life what I could only imagine what Christ endured for me….for me.

No one has ever done that before. No one ever will. Sure, many people will proclaim their undying love for one another, even go as far as to say “I would die for you”…[where did we get that expression in the first place? Why is that expression the be all end all of true love?] But when it comes down to it, we can’t rely on those five words from anyone…except Jesus.

So, when I think back on the broken promises of all those years…

promise of friendship, promise of love, promise of faithfulness, promise of protection, promise of trust, promise of safety, promise of acceptance

…made by people who came in and out of my life…I realize that I was searching for a hero to save me. Aren’t we all in one way or another?

The difference now is that I know who that hero is. Now, when I hear a song about undying love, and being lifted off the ground and swept away, of joy and love so strong…I no longer feel the pangs of yearning…I no longer wonder when will it by MY turn? When will I be rescued from all of this hurt?? I don’t have to search any longer...

He died for me. Tomorrow…it’s not about colored eggs or fuzzy bunnies. It’s about a hero. The one who saved me…from myself.


At 09:09, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dont recall how I found your blog, but I enjoy reading it. Your post for today is exceptionally moving. I'm so happy for you to be rescued from all the hurt. Its a good feeling.

At 21:18, Blogger Kassi said...

Thank you for reading! I hope that you stop in again :) Happy Easter!


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