Thursday, October 20, 2005

Imaginary Friend

A long time ago I had a friend, who I considered my best friend in the whole wide world. We spent a lot of time laughing, and being supportive. But we spent our fair share of fighting as well.

Then one day I moved, and we lost touch. We renewed the connection, and that was fine for a while. But then she stopped returning my calls. I found out that she moved. And I had no idea where she went.

She called me one day out the blue. To talk and catch up. She let me know that she had been going through a really bad time and was depressed. That is why she didn't call.

I was really happy to hear from her because there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of her and wonder if she was alright. She was my friend after all.

Then one day, she stopped calling and returning my calls. Again. And this time I was upset for a different reason. I had thought that she understood I was there for her no matter what, and especially through the rough times. She was my friend after all.

She contacted me out of the blue again. Just a few days before my wedding. I informed her what was going on, she didn't even know that I had been engaged. We caught up on each other's lives. She went through a bad break-up and wanted, needed time to herself to figure things out for her life.

I told her that part of friendship is bearing each others burdens. Perhaps if she didn't need me at the time, I may have needed her. She was my friend after all.

I asked her that if she wanted to continue our friendship to please stop disappearing, and only contacting me when it was convenient. She said that she was sorry, and she said okay.

Then one day she stopped responding to my emails.

Perhaps our friendship was just my imagination after all.

I have learned to stop waiting for a response. Sometimes friends turn into people that you used to know. Grace is knowing when to let them go their own way, with or without you.


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